Monday, May 9, 2016

Rainbows...

Hello lovely friends...so the last year has been an up hill battle, but we have survived, even thrived a bit.  We miss our sweet girl daily.  She is a part of our everyday conversation.  Kye even asks to go and see her.  And whenever he asks we go...its interesting trying to explain to a 3 year old the concept of where she is buried verses where she really is...Heaven! He does ask to go to heaven sometimes.  Wish we could sweet boy, wish we could.

On another note, our sweet family has been blessed with another life on the way!! 

Coming 12/1/16 is our rainbow baby. At first, Josh and I were not sure about the name "rainbow" baby...implying that our Aubrey was a terrible storm.  She was not a storm...her story may have been.  But SHE was a light in the darkness, a beautiful life.  Her story has provided hope, faith and grace to people across the nation, the world. And as much as I miss her everyday, I wouldn't change her story. Her witness. 

But then we remembered WHY God sent the rainbow: 
“13I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember  the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”
Genesis 9:13-16

This does not mean we won't have trials, but that God promises he is with us through all of them, that there is hope everlasting after a trial.  That he will walk with us.  So...our rainbow baby ☺️

Oh...and it's a Boy!
XOXO! 

12 comments:

  1. Hi there, I have no idea how I found your page, but I just wanted to say thanks for sharing. We buried our baby boy who had skeletal dysplasia six years ago. Such a hard thing to go through. So glad to see u are trusting God through it! There is no other way to live. Good for you allowing anger to come up. I pushed my down for a while and that didn't go so well. (: I hope you continue to experience God's grace and the hope that only comes from him. God bless.

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  2. I too bumped onto your page today and read your story with interest. It mirrors so well, my daughters experience in 2015 when her 20 week ultrasound alerted them to a problem. The one thing that stands out to me is your continuing faith after all that has happened. Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your rainbow baby. I want to share my struggle as Grandma in the hopes that you or a reader may guide my brain and heart a bit. My daughter was very concientious during her preganacy as conception was a four year process. At 36, she was more than ready, and longing for her first baby. I had never imagined so much pain and agony as the loss of a child. To see your own child hurting so badly, to be in such a gut wrenching situation, and as a mother/grandmother, being able to do NOTHING except to just be there was horrific. We loved Dacy Joann for the moment we knew she existed. At 20 weeks, the ultrasound allowed the Dr to diagnose Body Stalk Anomaly with no hope of survival. They would not consider termination, and she did carry to almost full term. Dacy Joann was born in October, 2015 and lived for almost an hour before she went on to heaven. Following the diagnosis, I and many others, prayed with a ferver that I did not know I was capable of. I had high hopes that either one, the medical professionals were wrong about the severity of what they saw, or two, that the Lord would make this all ok. For almost 60 years, my faith had been strong. He had carried me through my own challenges in life and I had been a Believer since I was a child. From the day that Dacy was born and she so quickly passed away from us into Heaven....I was so shocked, hurt, and angry that He allowed this to happen. Can he not do anything ? Don't we life our prayers with the expectation that they be answered if it is His will ? Then why would it not be His will to save this beautiful innocent baby who was loved and wanted more than anything on this earth ? Since that day, I catch myself praying out of habit, then immediately realize, it may be a useless and wasteful use of time. I hate this feeling, and these thoughts. It is soooo unlike me, but I cannot seem to wrap by head around what has happened. What HE allowed to happen. Like you, she is now expecting their Rainbow Baby this October. With a bicornuate uterus, it is expected that she will deliver early. I want to pray for a good outcome, but feel so helpless when I don't think that my prayers are going anywhere. I would like to know how you kept your faith, how you escaped angry and bitter feelings/thoughts. Thank you from Grammie.

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    1. Hi Karen,
      I just read your story and felt I wanted to check on you. I cant see if anyone else replied to you so sorry in advance if what I say sounds repetitive.
      We may have had different trials but I know that feeling when all you want to do is pray, but as long and as strong as you keep praying, things do not change.
      It is very hard to see a dear one suffering and not being able to change it. Going to bed each night hoping tomorrow will bring a miracle big enough to fix it all. Waking up the following day and feeling well until a sad realisation tie up your stomach reminding you things are still very bad.
      Life can be a very dark place, and we may never understand entirely the reasons for our trials while we are here.

      But one thing I can promise you with all my heart, and it's that you are heard, you are loved, you are missed and you are a unique part of Heavenly Father's heart.
      I can promise you, things dont make sense in our life, but one day they will be explained.
      None of your prayers went unheard, they are all written down in Heaven, and your Dear Father loved each of them. He cried with you in your prayer and he smiled with you in your joys.
      Please dont give up praying, dont give up believing and dont give up on the beautiful love Heavenly Father has for you and your beautiful family.

      If you wonder how to keep the faith, please ask God. Dont block the connection you had with Him for so long.
      I like to believe faith is a gift from our Heavenly Father, and just like Him, faith is eternal.
      So people never lose their faith, they just stop using it.
      Your strong faith is still there and your prayers are not going nowhere, they are going to His heart. Of this I am sure.

      I hope these words will get to you and can be of help.

      I'd love to hear you are ok!

      Ilaria

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  4. Been thinking of you and your sweet Aubrey lately and I hope you are doing well. It sounds like you are. Our stories continue to coincide with each other and I am grateful. We are also now expecting our "Rainbow" baby who is also a boy. What a blessing. God is good. 💜

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  5. Thank you for your witness as you and your husband walk this journey God has given you.

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  6. Thank you for your witness as you and your husband walk this journey God has given you.

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  7. Congratulations! So happy to hear you are expecting a new family member! How exciting. I love your story - of course saddened that you lost your sweet girl, but so happy to read how you handled it all. My son was born last November and died after only five days. We found out early in the pregnancy that he had trisomy 13, a condition which is almost always fatal. Babies who do survive usually only life a very short time, and with many disabilities. Still, we chose to carry our son and honor his life, no matter how short. My pregnancy with him was wonderful. He was active in the womb and I enjoyed every second of his pregnancy. He was born via c-section at 36 weeks due to my high blood pressure. I was able to meet him, our family held him. I held him skin to skin. And then we had to say good-bye. And it was so hard. And my heart aches for him, and it always will. But I would do it all again, for him. He was worth it. We miss him. Everyday my heart feels like a part of it is missing, because of course it is. But life is good. I am happy, and my family is happy. We are good, and not only that but now we are better. Because of our sweet Aaron. God bless you and your family, and the new life growing inside <3

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  8. Congratulations. OUr local station had your story, and now I see your story continues. Here's a link for our story - Martha's Story - and ours continued also! God bless you & your family.
    http://www.unlessthelordmagazine.com/articles/martha.htm

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  9. Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you and your family. May God continue to bless you. :)

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